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i get a little weird when i have a lot on my plate at one time.  if i’m ever dissatisfied by the amount of work i’m getting done or if i’m ever feeling overwhelmed by a deadline or a project, one of the things i like to fall back on is a little plan.  i like to figure out how much work remains and figure out how much time remains in which to do the work–and use that to know the pace at which i gotta work in order to finish in time.  thing is, i just repeat this process each time i fall out of sync with my projections, which always happens.  but a new plan helps me feel like i’ve got things under control for a minute.


sorren laughs at me.  she’ll know i’m anxious about my work and she’ll know i’m falling behind, but when she sees me take a break or go for a bike-ride or something after making a new gameplan, she’ll roll her eyes.

but when i push myself trying to keep with a plan and realize how much else isn’t being taken care of, i inevitably have to take a break from the work to take care of something.  and it could be a million things.  housekeeping.  making sure the dog’s getting some exercise.  picking up extra shifts at molly’s ’cause we’re broke.  shopping for some shit. my wife and i could just need a night together.  it could be anything.  comics just aren’t everything.  forgiving myself for having so much else to do but draw comics is a really great way not to get as much work done as i’d like–but it’s kinda the only way to live.  how rewarding would my life be if i had my stack of pages exactly where i wanted it but everything else was in ruins?  it wouldn’t be worth shit.


the work itself is a big part of these calculations, too.  comics aren’t just the things that happen when you sit down with a pen in your hand.  it’s not like you just punch in for a few hours and they take care of themselves.  sometimes the best effort in earnest, with all the time you thought you’d need, just doesn’t even get you close.  sometimes you get lucky and can bang out work easily, but with comics you don’t know.  the story tells you what you’re drawing, and if it’s some really tough stuff, then that’s that.  you draw it, and your projections for how much work you were gettin’ done are wrecked.


no matter how close to, on top of, or far behind my goals i get, though, i continue with my little plans.  i have all this useless concrete data about how quickly every project i’ve worked on was completed, and the only certain thing i’ve come away with is that the longer i spend on shit, the more i like it.  it makes a plan seem silly, but i know i can’t help myself.  it’s the unreasonable goals that keep me focused!


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